Emotional intelligence might have been yesterday’s news, but it’s just as relevant today as ever.
Emotional Intelligence (or emotional quotient or EQ) goes beyond managing one’s emotions. It is the ability to positively understand and use these emotions to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. It’s also vital in helping people connect with feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to them.
As the proverb goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go with people.” But how do you go with people without creating and sustaining healthy relationships?
Here are three ways to develop your emotional intelligence:
- Practice self-reflection
We are often so occupied with work, social media, and other activities that we have almost no time to breathe and sit with our thoughts.
Taking the time to relax in solitude and self-reflect can lead to monumental changes in your outlook. You will no longer just be going through the motions of living but determining for yourself what activities truly matter because you are in touch with yourself and understand the reasons behind your actions.
- Learn to empathise
If you can’t understand yourself, your emotions and your behavioural responses, you won’t be able to understand other people’s actions and emotions too. Empathy is one of the most crucial components of emotional intelligence. It is being able to put yourself in another’s shoes and feel what they feel.
- Be curious
Curiosity seeks to understand the why behind a particular behaviour. Being curious is a necessary component of emotional intelligence because it opens your mind to different perspectives and allows you to take in the context surrounding an event.
When you cannot recognise that there could be different reasons, perspectives, and contexts behind a behaviour or action, you risk being judgemental and coming off as emotionally unintelligent.
To grow your emotional intelligence, learn to pause, read the room, eliminate your bias, and ask for all the facts before reacting. Gauge before you engage.